


As Wanted and Deserved (1980s au)

by Reandy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Christianity, Drug Use, Italian Mafia, M/M, Police, Police corruption, Recreational Drug Use, church, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 14:40:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14917242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reandy/pseuds/Reandy
Summary: Kankri, Karkat, and Silios Vantas are new faces in Blue Springs, Missouri. They slowly discover corruption in the police, education system, and city congress- all tying back to one name. Makara.They do the stupid thing, and try take them down.This all takes place in the 1980s, mainly because I thought it would be fun to research the time period.





	As Wanted and Deserved (1980s au)

Bustling, beautiful, and musical. The streets of downtown always had that magic to them. Cronus revved his bike engine as he hummed down the street. He tapped a beat on his handlebar, syncing it to the music pouring from his walkman- Blondie’s Heart of Glass. He turned into a parking garage, slowing to a stop in front of the gate. Pushing up his aviators, he cracked a smile for the regulator.

“Evening, Ampora,” they muttered, flicking a switch to let him in.

“Ditto.” He rode up to the second floor, pulling into his usual spot. Removing his headphones, he stepped off his bike.

_-Hmmmyhmmmhmmyhmmm-_

… A Subwoofer. He paused in his tracks, turning towards the sound. He ran his fingers through his hair, approaching the source of the noise: a purple Pontiac with black tinted windows. He rapped his knuckles on the drivers side, trying to peer into the car. The window rolled down, smoke pouring from the cabin. Kurloz smirked at him, punching off the stereo.

Cronus laughed, reaching in to slap hands with him.

“Well well well, if it isn't my greasy motherfucker- to what do I owe the fine, god forsaken pleasure?” he hummed, tapping ash off his joint.

“Oh, nothin’ much. Heard your beats- thought I’d say hello.” Cronus squatted down to examine the rest of the cabin. His gaze lingered on a pack of cigarettes on the dashboard. “Wvhat you jammin’ to? Metallica?”

Kurloz gave a deep chuckle. “You've got a good ear, mother fucker. You want a better listen?”

“Fuck yeah, I do.”

Kurloz unlocked the doors as Cronus swung around to the passenger’s seat. He pumped the subwoofer back up to ten, and kicked his feet up on the dashboard. “You free today?”

“Not yet. Why, want to change that?” Cronus reached for the cigarette pack, flicking one out with his thumb and propping it between his teeth. He wouldn’t turn 18 for a couple of months, and had a tendency to bum cigarettes from his classmates.

Kurloz couldn’t care less, fumbling to hand Cronus his lighter. “Oh, come now, brother. You’re the freest you’ve ever been with a motherfucker like me.”

Cronus lit his smoke, and immediately took a deep breath through it. “Can’t say you’re wvrong, chief. Can’t say you’re wvrong. So, wvhat are wve wvaiting for?”

“Good question.” Kurloz kicked the car into reverse, whipped it around, and went squealing down the ramp. Earning a few honks, he skidded his way into traffic. He chuckled, taking another hit of his joint, and blowing it out the window.

“Careful, there’s fuckin’ cops out here!” Cronus managed through grit teeth, gripping the seat.

“Crobitch, you know I don’t have to worry about none of them.” He took a sharp turn off the main road.

Cronus puffed smoke out his nostrils, eyebrows furrowed. “Still- I’d rather not be a bloody pulp on someone else’s dashboard.”

Kurloz huffed, cruising down the road. “Life’s too short for that kind of attitude.”

“Maybe for you.” He sucked on his cigarette, staring in the rearview mirror. “But I plan on doing shit when I’m old.”

Kurloz shrugged at the comment. “I’d rather live young and free than grow old and chained.”

Cronus nodded. “As you’vwe made clear.” He stretched. “So- wvhat’s the plan for tonight?”

“On our way to pick up Ruf. You down to get high?”

Cronus laughed. “Sorry, Kurly. Still clean.” His gaze lingered on Kurloz’s joint. “Speaking of, wvhat’re you smokin?”

Kurloz smirked. “No business of a clean motherfucker.” He zoomed around another corner. “So, if drugs are out the window, Howabout... we visit the the house of our _motherfucking lord?_ It is our god’s day, afterall,” Kurloz suggested, cracking a twisted smile.

Cronus nearly spit out his cigarette. “Wv- you wvant to go to _church?”_

“It’s only 2, I bet we could catch Sunday school, motherfucker! Could be fun,” He added, a cynical spark in his eye. “Can’t get much cleaner than that.”

Cronus looked him up and down. “Alright. Church it is.”

“That’s what I like to motherfucking hear.”

 

Rufioh tapped his foot on the ground, fiddling with his bass guitar. He hummed a beat, eyes fixed on his light fixture. He paused, as a car blaring metal stopped outside his window. He didn’t think much of it, and continued picking at his guitar.   

_-WHAM-_

He jolted, going stiff as something slammed against his window screen.

_“KURLY! THE FUCK YOU TRYINA DO?”_

_“Get his attention, motherfucker!”_

Rufioh set his bass down, creeping over to the window. He propped it open, staring down at Kurloz and Cronus wrestling over a rather sizeable rock.

“Attention received,” he called, a soft laugh to his voice.

Kurloz ripped the rock from Cronus’s grip, scowling at him. He cracked a grin as he turned to Rufioh, tossing the stone in his hand. “MOTHERFUCKER, GET DOWN HERE, WILL YOU?”

Rufioh gave a thumbs up. He shut the window, grabbed his bag, then jogged down the stairs and out the door. He spotted his friends, seated on the hood of Kurloz’s car. He waved at them, strolling over. “What’s the plan tonight, fellas?” he asked, sliding in the back.

“Gonna get motherfucking righteous, brother.” Kurloz swung into the driver's seat and adjusted the rearview mirror so he could see himself.

Cronus gave Rufioh a confused shrug, shutting the passenger door behind him.

Kurloz padded down his pockets, and retrieved his black greasepaint. He swabbed some under his eyes, giving them the appearance of hollowed sockets.

Cronus looked him up and down, sighing. He said nothing, only blowing smoke out his nostrils.

Kurloz turned the rearview mirror back to it’s position and started the subwoofer up again.

Rufioh nodded his head to the beat.

With that, the car went zooming down the road, and towards the house of the motherfucking lord.

 

Kankri closed the story book, smiling softly. “And that is the story of the great flood. Any questions?”

Ten or so children sat in front of him. Most appeared bored out of their minds- but that didn’t bother Kankri. They would thank him some day. It had only been a couple of weeks since his family had moved to Missouri, but he was adjusting well. He… couldn’t say the same for his brother, unfortunately.

Karkat snickered, raising his hand from the back. “Questions… yeah, I have a few.”

“Mmm. Let’s read about Abraham, shall we?” Forcing his smile, Kankri turned around and shuffled through the pile of children’s books.

Karkat rolled his eyes, laying back on the floor. He grumbled something along the lines of _“This is fucking bullshit,”_ too quietly for anyone to hear.

The room seemed to still as… _heavy metal_ vibrated through the basement. They all turned to the overhead window facing the parking lot, where a purple car was parked.

“... Don’t pay that any mind. In order to be a good Christian, you cannot allow yourselves to be disconcerted by sinners. As difficult as it may seem.” He stiffened as he saw three sets of combat boots approach the church doors. He bit his lip, fumbling to open the book. “A- alright- um, a long time ago, there was a man named Abraham, who loved God very much.”

Heavy footsteps trudged down the stairs.

“G- god had blessed Abraham, and promised to make him great.”

A few snickers rang from just outside.

Kankri closed his eyes, hands curling around the book.

“The land of Canaan was promised… to him and his-”

The door slammed open, rising some rather dramatic screams from the children. Oh god. It was worse than he had thought.

Kurloz Makara stared around the screeching children, and nearly doubled over cackling. He made his way to the back, and sat behind the rest.

Cronus followed him, avoiding eye contact.

 _“God damn it, Kurloz-_ Shh… it’s ok, it’s ok!” Rufioh started, squatting down in front of the children, and putting his hands out in a placating manner.

Kurloz continued laughing up a storm from the back.

Kankri stared over the scene, all the blood having drained from his face. He caught Karkat’s eye, teeth gritting. _“Go get father!”_ He mouthed, standing.

Karkat nodded, rather intimidated himself. He managed to scramble past Rufioh, and up the stairs.

Kankri made a cross over his chest, taking a deep breath. “How can I help you,” He demanded through grit teeth, eyes locking with Kurloz’s.

“Awh, don’t be like that, brother! I’m just trying to get my righteous motherfucking fix of christ, that’s all.”

“Language!” Kankri shouted, pointing at him aggressively. “I think you’ve come to the wrong place. This is children’s bible study.”

“Awh… trust me, brother, I am still a child at heart.” Kurloz gave a lazy smirk, folding his legs.

Kankri squinted at him. “Clearly.” He clenched his fists. “Children, why don’t you go upstairs.” He stood and pushed Rufioh away from the door. They all scrambled out of the room.

“Hey… listen, man, we don’t mean any harm,” Rufioh started, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Yeah. No need to go and be so up and motherfucking rude, brother,” Kurloz added on. He rose to his feet once more, absolutely towering over Kankri.

“Enough!” Kankri spat, slowly sinking away from them. “If you want to just- mess with people, you came to the wrong place.”

Cronus ran his fingers through his hair, grimacing. “Kurly, we should bounce.”

Kurloz put his hand up, silencing Cronus. He kept his eyes locked with Kankri. “Seen you around school. You’re the new kid, right?”

Kankri winced. “Yeah. I am.”

“And do you know who I might be?” Kurloz spread his arms, as if showing off his getup.

Kankri shook his head. “Let me guess- prime minister of the satanic church.”

Kurloz cackled. “Now that’s just insulting. Name’s Makara. Ask around a little… wisen up.” Kurloz drew closer yet, slowly cornering Kankri. “Listen, motherfucker. We don’t have to be friends. But I recommend not trying to ANTAGONIZE a motherfucker whos just trying to have a little fun.”

Kankri took a sharp breath, his back flush against the wall.

“Got that?”

Kankri nodded.

“Wonderful.” He backed off, staring him up and down. “So. Why don’t you tell us a story?” He shuffled over to the stack of children’s books, and began flipping through them.

Kankri closed his eyes, trying to slow his pounding pulse.

The group turned to the door as it slid open.

Silios Vantas stared over them, his gaze cold. He paused, making eye contact with each of the boys individually. “Gentlemen.” He continued inside, hands folded behind his back. “I must request that you vacate the premises.” His steely tone sent shivers up their spines.

“Under what jurisdiction?” Kurloz muttered.

“This church is private property. If I request you leave… then leave you must.”

Kurloz cackled, swiping his fingers through his hair. “‘Must’ is a _very_ strong word, motherfucker. One that I’m not all so fond of myself.” He straightened out his shoulders. “So what. Are you gonna try to up and make us.”

Silios gave a quiet sigh. “I will call the authorities if I have to.”

Kurloz gave a slow chuckle. He reached into his pocket, retrieving a joint. “Oh- I don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

Rufioh took a sharp breath through his teeth. “Listen, Loz, we- we should go-”

“You motherfuckers can get out of here any time you’d like. But I’ve got something to prove now, don’t I?” Kurloz lit the joint, taking a slow drag. He cracked a grin at Silios’s horrified expression.

Cronus met Rufioh’s eye, teeth grit. “Kurly, wve ain’t kickin it wvithout you.”

Kurloz smiled, maintaining eye contact with Silios. “That’s what I like to hear.” He blew smoke out his nostrils. “So? What are you waiting for, motherfucker.”

Silios went stiff.

“Call the pigs in.”

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy! Thank you so much for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated! Let me know if you enjoyed! :)


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